


The Brain Trust

by ComedyandTragedy



Category: All New Wolverine, Marvel 616, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Comedy, Family, Gen, Shenanigans, romantic advice, x men cannot be kept in a room together without a fight breaking out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 15:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14287836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComedyandTragedy/pseuds/ComedyandTragedy
Summary: Laura calls on Jean when Gabby needs help talking to girls. Jean suggests reaching out to the other x men. Who then wind up in Laura’s apartment.





	The Brain Trust

Laura was probably going to regret this.  
She would be more than happy to give Gabby flirting advice from her own experience, but Laura was equally hopeless when it came to flirting. It must be genetic. Alchemax must have picked up Laura’s “urge to jump out a window when in line of sight of a pretty girl” gene and given it to Gabby. Which is why she needed help.

“I can help,” Jean said, after Laura voiced her concerns. “But I’m not sure if she’d be super comfortable with that. But maybe assembling a brain trust would work.”

“She does need all the advice she can get,” Laura pondered. “Ok. How do we do this?”

Jean was silent for a moment, then blinked. “I just telepathically contacted every mutant I know who likes girls,” she said. “I asked them to meet us here as soon as they can.”

“We’re doing this now?” Laura asked. 

“Yeah,” Jean said, “unless you want this to be put aside during the next inevitable x men disaster.”

~~~~~

About ten minutes later, a large crowd was gathered in Laura’s apartment. Laura did not realize that Jean had actually called in every x man who liked girls, including the ones who might be questionable in the romantic advice field.

“Logan,” Laura said to her father, “half of your girlfriends are dead. Do you not think that Gabby might not take your advice because of that?”

“I’m her father,” Logan said gruffly. “And I’ve had over 100 years of dating experience. Compared to some of these people here, I’m a perfect instructor.”

“Fair enough,” Laura said, deciding that she wasn’t going anywhere with Logan. She moved to the next person who showed up.

“Well, one quarter of the Fantastic Four now owes me money,” Daken said. “Which I will use to pay off the bet I lost to your cousin.”

“What about Gabby liking a girl made you win and lose a bet?” Laura asked, genuinely confused.

“Johnny bet that she’d be straight,” Daken answered, “but that might have been because he drunkenly read one of Reed’s genetics books, tried to draw up a punnet square, and determined that the odds of three Wolverine offspring being not straight were low enough to make a bet.”

“Daken, you cannot just make a bet with a drunk person,” Laura said, mildly irritated. 

“That same night he melted my boots,” Daken countered, “and promised to pay me back. So it technically isn’t bet money, but I’ll think of it so. And Megan bet that she’d tell you, while I bet that she’d just bring home a girl and let everyone piece it together from there.”

“Daken,” Laura said, “she needs advice, not the knowledge that her brother is somewhat immorally making bet money off of this.”

“Why don’t you give her advice?” Daken asked. “You’re letting Logan help, and your relationships with girls have gone far better than his.”

“Believe me,” Laura countered, “I tried to talk Logan out of it. I only let him because he was too adamant and I do not have the time to argue for long.”

“Well if he’s qualified then so am I,” Daken finalized.

“I’m getting a second opinion on both of you from Jean,” Laura replied before making her brother leave.

~~~~~~~~

“So right now we’ve got the entire New Mutants team, Kitty, Cess, Sooraya, Scott, Jubilee, Raven disguised as Scott, Warren, Kurt, Remy, Rogue, and your family,” Jean said, ticking down the list, “who can give advice.”

“And I just got done talking to Bobby,” Laura replied, “who wants to give moral support but not advice.”

“How did Bobby find out?” Jean wondered. “He can’t have gotten the memo. He doesn’t like girls.”

“He told me that Warren told mini Bobby who told him,” Laura answered. “Mini Bobby also wants in, by the way.”

“Has he even met Gabby?”

“I think Warren introduced them.”

“Ok. Well, this seems to indicate a problem,” Jean said.

“What kind of problem?” Laura asked. 

“I tried to narrow down the list of people who we could possibly get advice from,” Jean replied, “to avoid getting anybody who won’t be of any help whatsoever.”

“That was a good plan,” Laura assured. 

“It seemed like it,” Jean said, “but I should have remembered that everyone tells everybody everything. And that since most of the x men at least tolerate Gabby, that they might want to help.”

“Not just the x men,” Laura said, attention suddenly diverted from Jean. “Pretty sure I just heard the young avengers come in.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tommy and I got the message,” David said, after greeting Laura enthusiastically. “Laura and I hadn’t spoken in a while, same goes for her and Tommy, so I didn’t know much about Gabby. I think I met her once. Anyway, Tommy asked the others, and Kate filled us all in. She wanted to give advice because she was just in the same situa-Hey!” David winced as Kate elbowed him “Fine, I’ll stop talking.”

“I told them about when we met in LA,” Kate said. “And we decided we wanted to help as much as we could.”

“I’m happy that there’s a family thing that requires all the x men going on and it isn’t because of my family,” Billy added.

“Anyway,” David continued, “we offer you the help of Tommy, Kate, America, and myself.”

“But let’s be clear that any advice from America is probably the best,” Teddy said. “Being as she’s had the best luck with girls.”

“Ok,” Laura said, after taking all of what David had said in. “Please slow down. “I guess you all are ok. But I do not see why you are so invested.”

“Because we’re caring people,” Billy said at the same time Tommy answered “we were bored.”

Laura looked at Jean for advice. “I would say that anybody who has met Gabby is fine. I don’t think she’d be too thrilled that people she doesn’t really know are involved in this,” Jean said. 

“I second that,” Laura said. “I appreciate that you are willing to help, but this is getting to be overkill.” 

“I completely understand,” America said. “Your current advice panel is taking up the entire living room. 

The young avengers said goodbye and started to leave the kitchen. But it was in that moment that all hell broke lose.

“QUIRE!” Tommy yelled as he stuck his head out the door. 

“Thomas Shepard, don’t you dare provoke the telepath,” David said as Tommy sped off. 

“He’s eating my noodles!” Tommy yelled back. 

“Why did he bring noodles?” Billy asked, exasperated.

“We were having lunch when the call came,” David responded. 

“All apologies, Laura,” Kate said, hurrying the others out the door. 

Laura and Jean followed them hastily. It looked like Tommy had tried to superspeed the noodles out of Quentin’s hand, but Quentin was doing something that basically made Tommy run in circles. Everyone else in the room was trying to help, but Remy charging a playing card to try and knock Quentin out seemed to only escalate things. Things only got worse when Johnathan, who had been sleeping, was woken up by someone stepping on his tail and bit someone. It took a combination of Ilyana and Billy’s magic, Jean telepathically forcing Quentin out of Tommy’s head, and multiple others physically separating the two combatants in order to calm everyone down. 

“When I say I’m leaving on X Men business, it means you don’t follow me,” Jubilee scolded. 

“Well it was my X Men business too!” Quentin countered. “I got the same telepathic message that you did.”

“I didn’t realize that you would cause an incident!” Jean replied. “Next time you’re barred.”

“Not like I would have let him give any advice in the first place,” Logan commented. 

Laura put her face in her hands. She should have expected this to happen if a bunch of x men got together. 

“I think we have what we need,” Laura said. “You can all go home now.”   
She breathed a sigh of relief as everyone except for Daken left the apartment.

“I’m sorry that didn’t go any better,” Jean said to Laura.

“I’ll admit now,” Laura said, “a whole panel might have been overkill.”

“You just wanted to get help,” Jean assured her. “It’s not your fault that nobody can behave in a large group.”

“I just want to be helpful,” Laura said. “I would have felt a lot better about talking to girls if I could get advice.”

“From what I’ve heard,” Jean said, “you’ve managed just fine.”

“And where have you heard that?” Laura asked. 

“Gabby gave me a whole thing on how she knew she probably liked girls because you did too, and she was, after all, your clone. And how she hoped she inherited your ability to have random girls on the street give you their numbers.”

“That was one time,” Laura groaned. 

“Where is Gabby, anyway?” Jean asked.

“Wade dropped by earlier and said he needed her help. Something to do with spider man.”

As if on cue, the front door opened, and Gabby walked in. 

“Hey Laura!” She called. “Hey Jean! Hey Daken!”

“Megan, I have to go. She just got here. I’ll send you the money,” Daken said, hanging up the phone. Laura glared at him.

“Was Remy here?” Gabby said, walking into the kitchen.

Jean looked at Laura, wondering what to do.

“Earlier, yes.” Laura said. “Why do you ask?”

“I found a bloody playing card on the floor,” Gabby said, holding up the card in question. “What happened? And why is Daken here?”

“It was Jean’s idea,” Daken said, earning a kick in the shin from Laura. “Why doesn’t she explain?”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a lot of fun to write. There is no actual advice in this fic because I can’t give any. Hope y’all enjoyed it!


End file.
